http://www.violentacres.com/archives/100/dating-is-competitive-manipulation
If you are low self-esteem, stop. It's not attractive. This is why people who flirt all the time, even as they get older, have better relationships. She mentions that self-deprecating humor isn't attractive, which is true to an extent. Bitching all the time about the same thing isn't attractive. Calling yourself an asshole occasionally, or if you say something stupid and call it out, that's funny and shows social awareness.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Day in SF
We roll the 5.5 hours up to San Fran, find parking, and go to the Burlington
Coat Factory, browse for a little while, and some of the San Fran PUAs
meet us there. Funny how easy they are to spot..
We go to the nearby mall, and split off. I with Robert, and the 3 of
them run off to wherever. I open the first set of 2 cuties, Asians,
and it goes well, but I just got off a long ass car ride, my banter
skills hadn't quite kicked in, so I wished them well. Robert opened a
set, and then their 5 year old sister walks up, kinda ruined the set.
We press on, seeing much jailbait, and decide to enter Borders (aka
PUA paradise!), and who do we see, but the guys we broke away from. I
see one, and he takes me over to these 2 hotties, and is like, "This
is my friend from LA! He's awesome!" I though, "Hey, if you're gonna
force me onto them like that..." So I banter hardcore, light kino,
tell them I'm an asshole, make fun of Borders, match their BL (they're
sitting indian style on the floor, and then I got told by a guy who
works there that I have to get up as we were blocking the isle...
weak!), and basically do what I do. Everyone is cracking up, and to
top off this presentation of Santa Barbara pimpin style, I set up a
day 2 for the next time I'm in SF. I didn't get her number, as my
phone wasn't getting reception in there, but I told her to call me
tomorrow, and I'll go from there. Mission Showoff: Completed! (Yes, I
realize that I still get validation from outside sources, but that's
ok, because I don't get negative effects from outside sources, I
figure whoever's an asshole is on the rag, and I press on.)
So then we go find parking near Project SF, which we do in relatively
short order (20 minutes! w00T! L337 sk1llz!), and enter PSF. We talk
with the guys for a good long time, cool seeing the instructors I met
in LA again, and meeting the ones I haven't. I met some guys that were
new to the game, some that had been in it for awhile, and mostly they
were cool. The important thing that happens is the shitload of food
they bring out! Pizza, fudge, cake, horse douvres (there's an
apostrophe in there somewhere, but I'm not sure where, fucking French
words!), just a damn fine selection. That is how a meeting should be done!
Then Zan gets on stage, I'm taking notes fast as possible, taking a
few pics with my webcam, and learned how to be Don Juan. Again, he's
fucking got inner game like no other. I finally understand when people
say that you can smell it on a guy. Zan reeks of hot women.
We took a break, grabbed another nibble, and I asked Zan if he minded
if I posted the seminar notes on here, and he was like, "Yeah, do
whatever you want! This information should be free! I realize I have
DVDs and am trying to make money, but yeah, by all means!" THAT is a
cool guy, truly in it to teach.
After break he talked a little bit more, a lot of Q&A, and he finally
said some lines that he uses, which I might have to borrow a few (take
note, this is important later). Then he says, "OK, that's all I got,"
so the seminar breaks up, and it's guys talking with guys again. I met
Niels, who is a PU101 instructor that got a perfect score on the SATs,
which blew my mind. He's fucking funny. We also met another PU101
instructor who has a music degree, and he helped Robert and I work on
voice projection. He has family in Santa Maria, so hopefully we can
talk him into giving a speech for SBPU.
After most of the guys leave, it's PU101 instructors, Zan, Zan's
friend, Zan's new SF girl he picked up Friday night, and no more than
3 other students. As we were talking, Zan goes, "I like your shirt,
hey honey, what do you think?" I turn to the girl, she says, "I like
it!" I reply, "She just wanted to stare at my tits!" Everyone busts
up. Then the banter is ON! I mention how I'm glad I didn't wear my LED
belt buckle, or she'd be staring at my crotch, and it would just get
wildly inappropriate. Zan says something, and I reply, "Naah, she
can't afford me!" He's like, "Holy fuck!" High fives me, and I think
he added that to his repitiore. She says, "How much do you charge?" I
have never had a girl ask me that before, so I reply, "Hourly or
daily?" She says, "Hourly." I reply, "One million dollars" in a Dr.
Evil voice. Like I said, I've never had a girl take it this far,
(boring ass IV chicks!) so that was the best I had off the top of my
head. In retrospect, I will say the daily charge is her making dinner
at my place, the hourly rate is 100 kisses. Now I'm prepared
Coat Factory, browse for a little while, and some of the San Fran PUAs
meet us there. Funny how easy they are to spot..
We go to the nearby mall, and split off. I with Robert, and the 3 of
them run off to wherever. I open the first set of 2 cuties, Asians,
and it goes well, but I just got off a long ass car ride, my banter
skills hadn't quite kicked in, so I wished them well. Robert opened a
set, and then their 5 year old sister walks up, kinda ruined the set.
We press on, seeing much jailbait, and decide to enter Borders (aka
PUA paradise!), and who do we see, but the guys we broke away from. I
see one, and he takes me over to these 2 hotties, and is like, "This
is my friend from LA! He's awesome!" I though, "Hey, if you're gonna
force me onto them like that..." So I banter hardcore, light kino,
tell them I'm an asshole, make fun of Borders, match their BL (they're
sitting indian style on the floor, and then I got told by a guy who
works there that I have to get up as we were blocking the isle...
weak!), and basically do what I do. Everyone is cracking up, and to
top off this presentation of Santa Barbara pimpin style, I set up a
day 2 for the next time I'm in SF. I didn't get her number, as my
phone wasn't getting reception in there, but I told her to call me
tomorrow, and I'll go from there. Mission Showoff: Completed! (Yes, I
realize that I still get validation from outside sources, but that's
ok, because I don't get negative effects from outside sources, I
figure whoever's an asshole is on the rag, and I press on.)
So then we go find parking near Project SF, which we do in relatively
short order (20 minutes! w00T! L337 sk1llz!), and enter PSF. We talk
with the guys for a good long time, cool seeing the instructors I met
in LA again, and meeting the ones I haven't. I met some guys that were
new to the game, some that had been in it for awhile, and mostly they
were cool. The important thing that happens is the shitload of food
they bring out! Pizza, fudge, cake, horse douvres (there's an
apostrophe in there somewhere, but I'm not sure where, fucking French
words!), just a damn fine selection. That is how a meeting should be done!
Then Zan gets on stage, I'm taking notes fast as possible, taking a
few pics with my webcam, and learned how to be Don Juan. Again, he's
fucking got inner game like no other. I finally understand when people
say that you can smell it on a guy. Zan reeks of hot women.
We took a break, grabbed another nibble, and I asked Zan if he minded
if I posted the seminar notes on here, and he was like, "Yeah, do
whatever you want! This information should be free! I realize I have
DVDs and am trying to make money, but yeah, by all means!" THAT is a
cool guy, truly in it to teach.
After break he talked a little bit more, a lot of Q&A, and he finally
said some lines that he uses, which I might have to borrow a few (take
note, this is important later). Then he says, "OK, that's all I got,"
so the seminar breaks up, and it's guys talking with guys again. I met
Niels, who is a PU101 instructor that got a perfect score on the SATs,
which blew my mind. He's fucking funny. We also met another PU101
instructor who has a music degree, and he helped Robert and I work on
voice projection. He has family in Santa Maria, so hopefully we can
talk him into giving a speech for SBPU.
After most of the guys leave, it's PU101 instructors, Zan, Zan's
friend, Zan's new SF girl he picked up Friday night, and no more than
3 other students. As we were talking, Zan goes, "I like your shirt,
hey honey, what do you think?" I turn to the girl, she says, "I like
it!" I reply, "She just wanted to stare at my tits!" Everyone busts
up. Then the banter is ON! I mention how I'm glad I didn't wear my LED
belt buckle, or she'd be staring at my crotch, and it would just get
wildly inappropriate. Zan says something, and I reply, "Naah, she
can't afford me!" He's like, "Holy fuck!" High fives me, and I think
he added that to his repitiore. She says, "How much do you charge?" I
have never had a girl ask me that before, so I reply, "Hourly or
daily?" She says, "Hourly." I reply, "One million dollars" in a Dr.
Evil voice. Like I said, I've never had a girl take it this far,
(boring ass IV chicks!) so that was the best I had off the top of my
head. In retrospect, I will say the daily charge is her making dinner
at my place, the hourly rate is 100 kisses. Now I'm prepared
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Being a "Nice guy"
I know this is counter-intuitive, but telling girls how awesome they are can be just as effective as anything else. The other day, in SF, one of the girls I was talking to was sitting down and needed to get up, so I said, "Give me your hands, princess." She was like, "Did you just call me princess?" and her face just beamed!
There truly is a spot for sweet guys in this world. Too much time is spent on negs and reducing their self-esteem, but the occasional sweet thing can go a LOT farther than an occasional neg ever will. "Look at you, you're my new princess!", "I like this girl, she's a total sweety!", things like that can be even more powerful than calling a girl a brat. Plus, it gives everyone a warm fuzzy feeling most people think you can only get from alcohol, but no! The only thing better is the well-timed spank, but that's another post..
There truly is a spot for sweet guys in this world. Too much time is spent on negs and reducing their self-esteem, but the occasional sweet thing can go a LOT farther than an occasional neg ever will. "Look at you, you're my new princess!", "I like this girl, she's a total sweety!", things like that can be even more powerful than calling a girl a brat. Plus, it gives everyone a warm fuzzy feeling most people think you can only get from alcohol, but no! The only thing better is the well-timed spank, but that's another post..
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Text message flirting example
Last night, I met this girl, and the arctic chill has hit, so everyone is bundled up. Just had to set the stage. I told her we were getting married in Vegas, I bantered with her friend, got her to like me too, called my boys over to wing for me, and I got her number and told her how things were going to go between us. I told her I'd text her giving her a cute pet name, and we talked about Borat, and funny accents. That should cover everything... Oh yeah, I also planned a tenuous date for Monday, depending on if she goes to a Clippers game. I told her if not, we will continue to text until we finally get to meet up, and it will be great. Also had her pull her hand out of her jacket a few times just to high five me, so my kino was good, even though it was awkward for her.
Me:Hey Tiger! It's such a nice day, the sun is shining, the air is warm.. wait... no.. It's still damn cold! I want my money back! kisses!
Her:Yeah, it is cold! Did you have fun last night?
Me:Of course! I ALWAYS have fun. I danced on the moon and sang songs about love while doves flew overhead. It was quite a time. Sorry you missed it... kisses!
(That didn't really happen, but it was probably better than telling her I made it a point to flirt with other girls...)
Her:Wow that does sound like quite a night! I thought I was going to freeze and turn into an ice cube. Luckily I did not.
Me:Well, with that puffy blue coat you had on.. I figured your inner marshmellow would stay toasted. You are now my little smore! He he! Yum! kisses!
(I wasn't sure how well this would go over...)
Her:Aw I've never been anyones smore before! You're so sweet fiance. :)
Me:I AM a charmer. I've never had anyone be my smore before. I hope it isn't too awkward.. Be gentle.. It's my first time.. ;-) kisses!
Her:I'll try and be as gentle as a bunny but I can't make any promises.
Me:A bunny eh? Well.. Ok, I think we can make this work, but I'm going to need flowers, some candles, maybe poetry.. I'm not easy you know. I'm classy! kisses!
(I LOVED this part! I turned things all sexual, then told her I'm not easy. Very subtle push/pull style. "Let her out, then reel her in!")
Her:I can't help it when the inner tiger in me wants to come out. After all that is the pet name you chose for me. But I think I can do candles. I like candles.
Me:Forget candles, we will have a fountain, bubbling softly next to us, with a sweet scent permeating the air while soft music dances around us! kisses!
(I just got a fountain, so I was trying to prepare her for when she gets to my house. Nothing like making dreams into reality!)
Her:You are a cheeseball. :)
Me:You're totally in love with me, I'm adorable! You kinda match though. We can bask in each other's awesomeness! I think this is gonna go well, yes? kisses!
(Cockier than I honestly felt comfortable with, but I got away with it, so...)
Her:Well you are completely adorable. Its hard to deny the truth. And since we both talk in funny accents we will definitely mesh well.
Me:Actually, seeing as how you think I'm adorable, I'm going to tell you a secret, but you have to promise not to tell. Promise? kisses!
Her:Kk i promise
Me:I think you are cute beyond all reason, and I can't wait to hang out with you! But don't tell anyone, it'll ruin my image! kisses!
(Good to open yourself up a little, no? Statement of intent for Juggler fans, baring one's weak spot in an alpha way for David DeAngelo fans)
Her:Aw thanks and don't worry, your secrets safe with me.
Me:I'm glad I can trust you. I hope I can find some free time this week. If Monday falls through, I know I'm free next sunday, might work out. Then, fountains! kisses!
Her:Yay! I'm sure i can find time to pencil you into my busy schedule.
Me:Well I am charmed! I should probably get on with my day, but my shower's broken.. Not a good way to start the day.. kisses!
Her:Okie dokie. Have a good smelly day!
Me:Ha! I'll find someone with a shower I can use.. I'm bound and determined! Or.. Much axe.. Ha! Just got a text from my friend! I'll smell good yet! kisses!
Her:Good good. Have a bee-ooo-tee-ful day.
Me:You too! Try to behave, and I will do the same! See you soon. kisses!
All in all, I enjoyed it! This is why I don't make phone calls, text is SO much easier to do, you can think, and be far wittier than you could in real time. Plus, that first text message was sent to 4 girls, this conversation just happened to be the most fun.
Viel Glueck!
Justin
Me:Hey Tiger! It's such a nice day, the sun is shining, the air is warm.. wait... no.. It's still damn cold! I want my money back! kisses!
Her:Yeah, it is cold! Did you have fun last night?
Me:Of course! I ALWAYS have fun. I danced on the moon and sang songs about love while doves flew overhead. It was quite a time. Sorry you missed it... kisses!
(That didn't really happen, but it was probably better than telling her I made it a point to flirt with other girls...)
Her:Wow that does sound like quite a night! I thought I was going to freeze and turn into an ice cube. Luckily I did not.
Me:Well, with that puffy blue coat you had on.. I figured your inner marshmellow would stay toasted. You are now my little smore! He he! Yum! kisses!
(I wasn't sure how well this would go over...)
Her:Aw I've never been anyones smore before! You're so sweet fiance. :)
Me:I AM a charmer. I've never had anyone be my smore before. I hope it isn't too awkward.. Be gentle.. It's my first time.. ;-) kisses!
Her:I'll try and be as gentle as a bunny but I can't make any promises.
Me:A bunny eh? Well.. Ok, I think we can make this work, but I'm going to need flowers, some candles, maybe poetry.. I'm not easy you know. I'm classy! kisses!
(I LOVED this part! I turned things all sexual, then told her I'm not easy. Very subtle push/pull style. "Let her out, then reel her in!")
Her:I can't help it when the inner tiger in me wants to come out. After all that is the pet name you chose for me. But I think I can do candles. I like candles.
Me:Forget candles, we will have a fountain, bubbling softly next to us, with a sweet scent permeating the air while soft music dances around us! kisses!
(I just got a fountain, so I was trying to prepare her for when she gets to my house. Nothing like making dreams into reality!)
Her:You are a cheeseball. :)
Me:You're totally in love with me, I'm adorable! You kinda match though. We can bask in each other's awesomeness! I think this is gonna go well, yes? kisses!
(Cockier than I honestly felt comfortable with, but I got away with it, so...)
Her:Well you are completely adorable. Its hard to deny the truth. And since we both talk in funny accents we will definitely mesh well.
Me:Actually, seeing as how you think I'm adorable, I'm going to tell you a secret, but you have to promise not to tell. Promise? kisses!
Her:Kk i promise
Me:I think you are cute beyond all reason, and I can't wait to hang out with you! But don't tell anyone, it'll ruin my image! kisses!
(Good to open yourself up a little, no? Statement of intent for Juggler fans, baring one's weak spot in an alpha way for David DeAngelo fans)
Her:Aw thanks and don't worry, your secrets safe with me.
Me:I'm glad I can trust you. I hope I can find some free time this week. If Monday falls through, I know I'm free next sunday, might work out. Then, fountains! kisses!
Her:Yay! I'm sure i can find time to pencil you into my busy schedule.
Me:Well I am charmed! I should probably get on with my day, but my shower's broken.. Not a good way to start the day.. kisses!
Her:Okie dokie. Have a good smelly day!
Me:Ha! I'll find someone with a shower I can use.. I'm bound and determined! Or.. Much axe.. Ha! Just got a text from my friend! I'll smell good yet! kisses!
Her:Good good. Have a bee-ooo-tee-ful day.
Me:You too! Try to behave, and I will do the same! See you soon. kisses!
All in all, I enjoyed it! This is why I don't make phone calls, text is SO much easier to do, you can think, and be far wittier than you could in real time. Plus, that first text message was sent to 4 girls, this conversation just happened to be the most fun.
Viel Glueck!
Justin
On being scared of talking to people
Now, I know this may sound crazy, but this is my advice for getting over fear of talking to people, especially girls: TALK TO EVERYONE! Seriously, as you walk down the street, say hi to people you pass, smile at folks. Flirt with every girl you meet, or at least don't settle for saying only what needs said. Ask how peoples' day is going. Do what you can to make people smile. (a la Sean Newman)
When you go to a party or a bar after doing this, you won't have to get in the "mood to talk" or have to do "warm-up sets", you've already been doing them all day!
Make this a habit. Everywhere you go, work, school, grocery store, just be social. It's amazing the people you meet, the things you find out.
It may be scary when that ten walks down the sidewalk your first day doing this. If you feel like you're going to pee your pants from nervousness, let it slide that day. This is about feeling comfortable being social, all the time. You WILL have to probably step a bit out of your comfort zone, but as you get more and more used to this, your comfort zone is going to grow.
As you do this, you will figure out that humanity, one person at a time, is generally nice, with a few sad anomalies. Press on, and go meet more people!
When you go to a party or a bar after doing this, you won't have to get in the "mood to talk" or have to do "warm-up sets", you've already been doing them all day!
Make this a habit. Everywhere you go, work, school, grocery store, just be social. It's amazing the people you meet, the things you find out.
It may be scary when that ten walks down the sidewalk your first day doing this. If you feel like you're going to pee your pants from nervousness, let it slide that day. This is about feeling comfortable being social, all the time. You WILL have to probably step a bit out of your comfort zone, but as you get more and more used to this, your comfort zone is going to grow.
As you do this, you will figure out that humanity, one person at a time, is generally nice, with a few sad anomalies. Press on, and go meet more people!
The beginning of Spring Semester at UCSB
My good friend Tall Boy comes over with LA, and we go to a party. The party was perfect, nice girls, a little small though. I DO make it a point to flirt with the hottest girl in there, who is surrounded by 2 guys twice my size. I bounce with Jeremy to the street.
We walk along, sure to find my friends, Brian and Roger, and we do. We talk a bit, Brian talked to some cuties, and to show Roger that you can say anything with the right swagger, as 3 girls walk towards us, I swagger up to them and say, "Stop real quick! I just wanted to flirt with you guys!" They giggle, and I end up having my friend who visited from LA, Jeremy, come over and wing for me. He pulls his girl into isolation, leaving me with the most and least attractive girls in the group. I was cool though, kept bantering, got to know them a bit, good touching with the both of them, got all cuddly with the cute one, but the not cute one won't return a high five, which was annoying! I DID get the cute girl's number, and a date (which sucks, as I don't remember when I set it up for...Thursday I think...), and I told her I'd text her tomorrow.
We walk along, and Brian is talking to 2 girls, so I go to wing. I try to stay neutral, figuring out which one Brian wanted, which is always a bit of a trick, but he seemed to be going after the one I wasn't so attracted to, which was awesome, because to me, the girl I wanted was SMOKING. I
know people always talk about ratings and shit, and it's mostly bs, but seriously, I would rate her a 9.9. She girl-next-door, blond CUTEY who likes Borat. Looks and personality, I'm in love! So yeah, proud of that one. I told her straight up that we'd get together Monday night, and if that fell through, then I'd text her until we were free, and we would get together. She seemed enthusiastic about that plan.
Then we walk along (there is much walking along), and Brian is acting insane, telling girls he's a douchbag and shit, which sometime... whatever, but we pass this set, and I see this brown haired beauty, and I turn, walk up to her, and say whatever came to my head. Brian is still talking crazy talk, and I am just trying to get her number, which I do. I can't for the life of me remember her name... I guess "Brat" will have to do... oh well. Now, I want it noted, I would have gotten the date with her, but my schedule is getting a little tight, so I didn't want to have to cancel. So, text message it is! Three for three!
Bottom line, words matter not, pimping is all about the strut and kino. It's going to be a busy week..
We walk along, sure to find my friends, Brian and Roger, and we do. We talk a bit, Brian talked to some cuties, and to show Roger that you can say anything with the right swagger, as 3 girls walk towards us, I swagger up to them and say, "Stop real quick! I just wanted to flirt with you guys!" They giggle, and I end up having my friend who visited from LA, Jeremy, come over and wing for me. He pulls his girl into isolation, leaving me with the most and least attractive girls in the group. I was cool though, kept bantering, got to know them a bit, good touching with the both of them, got all cuddly with the cute one, but the not cute one won't return a high five, which was annoying! I DID get the cute girl's number, and a date (which sucks, as I don't remember when I set it up for...Thursday I think...), and I told her I'd text her tomorrow.
We walk along, and Brian is talking to 2 girls, so I go to wing. I try to stay neutral, figuring out which one Brian wanted, which is always a bit of a trick, but he seemed to be going after the one I wasn't so attracted to, which was awesome, because to me, the girl I wanted was SMOKING. I
know people always talk about ratings and shit, and it's mostly bs, but seriously, I would rate her a 9.9. She girl-next-door, blond CUTEY who likes Borat. Looks and personality, I'm in love! So yeah, proud of that one. I told her straight up that we'd get together Monday night, and if that fell through, then I'd text her until we were free, and we would get together. She seemed enthusiastic about that plan.
Then we walk along (there is much walking along), and Brian is acting insane, telling girls he's a douchbag and shit, which sometime... whatever, but we pass this set, and I see this brown haired beauty, and I turn, walk up to her, and say whatever came to my head. Brian is still talking crazy talk, and I am just trying to get her number, which I do. I can't for the life of me remember her name... I guess "Brat" will have to do... oh well. Now, I want it noted, I would have gotten the date with her, but my schedule is getting a little tight, so I didn't want to have to cancel. So, text message it is! Three for three!
Bottom line, words matter not, pimping is all about the strut and kino. It's going to be a busy week..
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